Andrews & Dunham - Black Sunshine

(6 comments)

The adventurer carefully assembled the tools she would need. She was the only one who possessed the magic elixir that could defeat the monster. She knew that the world's fate was in her hands. It was important that this looked like a normal teatime so the monster would not suspect anything.

The mixture in the can was special; a carefully crafted combination of dried leaves from cloudy Asian mountains. The container bore a warning: As you steep this tea for 5 minutes in boiling water, contemplate not the black abyss that is the emptying tin or suffer unutterable despair!  

It was true. The adventurer knew that if the tin became empty before the monster was vanquished, there would be no more hope for the world. The importance of her task could not be underestimated. She looked closely at the dry leaves. The combination of brown and gold and touches of red twisted leaves left her wondering what had gone into this mixture. Alas, it was a secret not meant for her. A fine brown dust remained when she moved the leaves around. It smelled of earth and yeast and bread. The intoxicating scent was too tempting and she inhaled deeply. Luckily the mixture was not toxic to humans...and she was pretty sure that she was human. 

She studied the ancient records that told of the monster's strengths. Countless people had died securing this knowledge and it was important that she committed it to memory. Her tools were simple: a honey stick with which to distract the monster, a magic sugar wand to stun him, a pu-erh pick to use as a weapon if needed. She was counting on the fact that the monster would not question why there was a pick but no cake. And then there was her secret weapon - one that was the key to the monster's defeat and one that she could not reveal until the last moment.

She felt the rumblings of the monster's steps before she heard them. Knowing that time was growing short, she began the preparations. "Five minutes is a long steep," she thought, "But I'm sure the Brew Masters know best." She boiled the water and poured it over the leaves, watching as the liquid quickly swirled with darkness. She experienced a tiny shiver of excitement...or was it fear? 

The liquid looked dark and foreboding, but appealing at the same time. She tasted it and immediately understood for certain that this magic elixir would be the world's salvation. The promised darkness was there in the flavor. She recognized familiar flavors that she had had before, but perhaps none with such nuanced flavor. The elixir coated her mouth slightly and left a tantalizing aftertaste that made her want more...more! But she knew that she had to save it for the purpose at hand.

Carefully she poured the brew into her cup, snapped the honey stick in half and settled in to wait. The wait was brief and she saw a stray tentacle out of the corner of her eye. Next a slimy head and a glaring eye. The creature headed straight for the honey stick without noticing anything else in the room. The adventurer smacked the creature on the head with the sugar wand and drove her pu-erh pick through a stray tentacle, holding the creature fast to the floor. 

Then she pulled out her secret weapon - TRIPOD CUP. This magical cup looked like a normal cup from the top, but it was actually an ancient weapon and the bottom was deadly.

She threw the magical elixir on the creature and then drove the cup deep into its head. The tentacles flailed wildly for a few minutes as the elixir did its work. The air was filled with unearthly screams as the creature was soon reduced to a pile of dessicated flesh and eventually, squid powder. 

The adventurer picked the magical cup up from the floor, cleaned it off and put it on the shelf for a later adventure. Then she settled down with her cat and a cup of tea, secure in the knowledge that the world would go on.

Comments

Chris 3 years, 2 months ago

Wow! Great review! I'm glad to see that tea is making its way into pop culture/fantasy. I had the song, "Black Sunshine," by White Zombie in my head throughout this entire review. I can't wait to try it.

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Amanda, Soggyenderman 3 years, 1 month ago

Heeee!! This was such a fantastic read! Love your tripod cup, I had to cover the eyes of my Cthulhu, so it would not weep at your adventures.

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Lisa 3 years ago

Very interesting "brew" I may have to look this one up myself. Love the can and your description was a very interesting read!

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Mandy Stone 2 years, 11 months ago

Lol! This was absolutely wonderful! I love your writing! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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